From a young age, I grew up in a Christian home and was baptized when I was ten years old. My parents raised my siblings and me in church. We were there every Sunday, and I loved it. I was grateful to know I had a Savior who died for my sins and to feel the unconditional love of my Heavenly Father. Looking back, I’m so thankful for the strong foundation my parents built and for the seeds of faith they planted in me through their love and prayers.

But even with all that love, something was missing in my relationship with God, and that was the fear of the Lord. Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” and I didn’t have that.

In middle school, I began to take advantage of God’s mercy and forgiveness. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, became addicted to marijuana, and began drinking. By high school, I was experimenting with pills and psychedelics. Despite all of this, I was still in church every Sunday and even attended women’s Bible studies. I loved the Lord, but I also loved my sin. I loved pleasing my fleshly desires, yet I believed I was forgiven because I never felt God leave me. I always felt His love and truly thought I was on fire for Him.

I would tell people about Jesus at parties, even bribing my friends to come to church by offering to get them high beforehand. I was living a double life, talking about Jesus but not living for Him.

After high school, I started dating a boy who taught me how to sell marijuana. I began dealing drugs, and even when I was selling, I would tell my buyers, “God bless you, Jesus really loves you.” But the relationship soon turned toxic. I was prideful, jealous, and physically abusive toward him. I thought it was my job to save him, but in truth, I was the one who needed saving.

One night, our fight got so bad that the cops were called, and we were both arrested. It was my first time in jail, and though I knew I deserved to be there, I had peace because I knew God was with me. Sitting in that cell, I realized things couldn’t go on like this. Something had to change.

From that moment, God began working on my heart, slowly healing my anger and softening me. About a year later, I told my boyfriend we couldn’t live together anymore because it wasn’t biblical. I’m forever grateful for my parents and the older women in my church whose constant prayers gave me the strength to take that first step of surrender.

We separated but still dated for a while. Eventually, he was arrested again, but even while he was in jail, I had peace knowing that God was working in both of us, restoring my identity as His daughter and transforming his heart too.

As I learned to surrender one thing after another to God, He began to change me completely. I stopped selling weed, moved out of my hometown, and relocated to Phoenix eight years ago. It wasn’t my plan (and honestly, I thought it was way too hot), but I knew it was God’s will.

I found a new church home in Phoenix, and about five years ago, a worship speed painter came to our church. I had never seen anything like it. As an artist since childhood, something inside me came alive again. I later found out her name was Vanessa Horabuena, and God used her to change my life. She took me under her wings, and for nearly four years, I trained under her as an intern and apprentice, learning, growing, and finding my purpose again through art and ministry.

Around that same time, the boyfriend I had once lived with was completely set free from his addiction to alcohol. I was also delivered from my addiction to marijuana, and I’ve been sober ever since.

Next month, my husband and I will celebrate our third wedding anniversary, and together we have a beautiful, Spirit-filled six-year-old daughter. God has completely transformed my life, from addiction, anger, and hypocrisy to freedom, faith, and purpose.

Because one day, I decided I was done doing things my way. I surrendered everything to God, one step at a time, and He did the rest.

Today, I stand here to tell you that if God can do it for me, He can do it for you too. When you surrender your will for His, He will exceed your wildest expectations.

Ephesians 3:20

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever. Amen.”